Abuse

Reclaiming Life ~~ “Finding Our Own Personal Freedom”

“The secret of happiness is freedom. The secret of freedom is courage.”
~Thucydides

Over the ages, mankind rose up above other species, developing a unique sense of self. Today, we strive to achieve a sense of personal freedom; freedom that encompasses the spiritual, social and financial realm. Our purpose is to pursue a higher purpose.

But relatively few people actually achieve a real and true sense of personal freedom. Too often, we’re shackled by self-oppression. These self-imposed restraints are rooted in doubt and fear. We are consumed by the societal norms and the expectations of those around us. And in this position, we find that we’re compelled to put aside our desires, our dreams, our true destiny and our freedoms. It’s all hastily shoved aside in favor of a different life; a life where your personal identity is shaped and dictated by others.

You bury the real, authentic you. You deny this true self in favor of becoming the person that others expect you to be. It’s something that’s engrained within us from a very young age. As children, we’re taught to suppress our authentic selves. We’re told to speak in a certain way, behave in a certain way, think in a certain way and live in a certain way. Slowly but surely, we lose our authenticity. That incredible realness that makes young children so profoundly refreshing and so truly joyful fades away. We give up our personal freedom and we reject the authenticity that we once had in childhood. We become the socially acceptable version of ourselves.

But that’s just the beginning.

You’ll go on to study hard in order to get the degree that society says you need to have in order to have the career that you need to work at in order to get the house and the car and the bank account balance that society says you need to have in order to find happiness. You’ll finally get all those things — the things society says you should have — and you’ll realize that they didn’t bring happiness. You’ll ‘have everything,’ yet none of it will matter because you didn’t do it for you. You did what you were told. You gave up your freedom to live the life that society said you ought to live. Personal freedom wasn’t the only thing you sacrificed. You sacrificed true happiness too.

True happiness requires personal freedom. You must free yourself from the grips of society and society’s expectations. Real, personal freedom is the biggest motivator you’ll ever discover. You’ll be free to be yourself. You’ll be free to pursue your passions. You’ll even discover financial freedom. You’ll live for yourself, not for others.

Finding the courage to be yourself is the challenge. But it’s a mission that can be fulfilled. Once you achieve this, your world will be forever changed. You will achieve true personal freedom; the freedom to be yourself and the freedom to live life to the fullest.

In today’s show, I issue a challenge to my viewers. I challenge you to overcome the doubt, the fear and the hesitation. I challenge you to make this — today — your personal independence day, as you seize and embrace your true, authentic self; the person you really are. I challenge you to re-take your life and own the real you — not the ‘you’ whom others wish you to be.

For when you do this, when you declare your own, personal independence day, you will find that you’re instantaneously released from the bonds that stand in the way of true self-realization and real, complete happiness. You will have reclaimed your personal freedom.

Join “Scott Binsack” in this incredible show. It’s one that’s certain to lift you up, transforming a vague motivation into a pointed sense of purpose as you discover and embrace the real person who dwells within you.

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“Scott Binsack” Presents: “The Rain Maker Mentorship Program”

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The Narcissist ~~ “In Love With The Enemy”

Narcissus was a figure in Greek mythology; a hunter who was renowned for his incredible beauty. A mountain nymph named Echo feel in love with Narcissus, but he was preoccupied with himself and his unmatched beauty.

Emotionally unavailable, Narcissus broke Echo’s heart and as often happens with juicy rumors, word of Echo’s heartbreak spread across the land. Ultimately, Nemesis — the god of revenge — heard of how Narcissus led Echo to heartbreak and she set out to punish him. She lured Narcissus to a pond, where he became engrossed with his own reflection. Narcissus fell deeply in love with the image and he was destroyed when he realized that it was merely a reflection. The story ultimately ends with Narcissus’ suicide.

It’s a rather dark tale, but it aptly illustrates many of the workings of the personality disorder known as narcissism.

Let’s be clear: it’s impossible to be in a healthy relationship with a narcissist. The self-centered nature of a narcissists precludes them from engaging in the give and take that’s required for a healthy, mutually-satisfying relationship. But this doesn’t stop others from falling in love with a narcissist. It’s a pit that I fell into myself.

What is a Narcissist?

To say that a narcissist holds a powerful self-love is put it quite mildly. A narcissist is the epitome of self-aggrandizing; this all-consuming superiority complex impacts every aspect of the narcissist’s life. In fact, narcissism is so consuming that it’s considered a personality disorder. While a majority of narcissists are men, it’s not a condition that’s exclusive to men. That’s because 25% of narcissists are women.

Narcissists may be cerebral and/or somatic. The cerebral narcissist believes that he or she has superior intellect, while the somatic narcissist is consumed by his or her physical beauty. A number of narcissists are taken with both their physical beauty and their superior intellect, making them a cerebral-somatic hybrid.

There are two sub-types of narcissist too: the vulnerable and the invulnerable narcissist.

A vulnerable narcissist is actually rather sensitive and they may experience depression or anxiety if others fail to treat them as superior beings. The vulnerable narcissist often appears as someone who’s vastly under-appreciated; their glory is simply unrecognized by the world at large. This narcissist is often a show-off in an attempt to display his or her superiority.

An invulnerable narcissist is essentially immune to any suggestion that he/she is anything less than superb and superior. This narcissist is unapologetic in her self-confidence and self-importance. If anyone dares to challenge the narcissist, they are met with vicious rage.

Some narcissists are overt, obvious narcissists who embody the most common narcissist stereotype. Others are inverted narcissists, who are parasitic in nature. They feed off another’s accomplishments and superiority and adopt this grandness for themselves. An example of this would be the stereotypical wife of a professional athlete or successful businessman. The wife exhibits all of the traits of narcissism, but she doesn’t want the control. She believes she’s entitled to enjoy all the fruits of her husband’s labor — the respect, the status, the money — despite the fact that she’s done absolutely nothing to earn or deserve these things.

The Narcissist in a Relationship

This is a bit of a misnomer, as a narcissist never really enters a true relationship. The term ‘relationship’ implies a give and take. There is no give and take with the narcissist. There’s that which the narcissist has; there’s that which he or she wants. The narcissist’s world revolves around fulfilling his desires — whatever they may be — because he deserves it. The narcissist adamantly believes he or she is worthy and deserving of all things wonderful and superior.

In a relationship, a narcissist cares about his or her own needs; there’s no consideration for the other person. Any facade of caring can usually be traced back to the narcissist’s self interests. For instance, a narcissist may do something kind for their partner, but that kindness isn’t rooted in love or a desire to please their partner; it’s rooted in a desire to manipulate the partner into doing something that benefits the narcissist. Manipulation is key for the narcissist, who puppets others in an attempt to fulfill his or her own interests.

If a narcissist doesn’t receive the love, adoration and respect that he or she feels is deserved, then they tend to get quite nasty. Increasing dominance is commonplace, as the narcissist over-compensates in an attempt to reinforce their importance and all-around fabulousness.

Does any of this sound familiar?

If so, then you probably know that attempting to maintain a relationship with a narcissist is a challenging task that often ends in heartbreak, just like the story of Narcissus and Echo. And some cases are equally deadly.

But if you survive your encounter with the narcissist, you’ll ultimately have a realization. You’ll realize that you were in love with a narcissist. And it’s a realization that can bring about a great deal of insight — insight that we’ll discuss in this week’s episode of Sunday Night With ” Scott Binsack”

So tune in with “Scott Binsack” as we explore narcissism, what it means to attempt a ‘relationship’ with a narcissist and how an encounter with this personality disorder can impact your life in a very profound manner. It’s an important show that simply cannot be missed!

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Rose Colored Glasses ~~ “Why We Refuse Reality & Make Excuses”

If someone thinks about or looks at something with rose-colored glasses, they think it is more pleasant than it really is – “Scott Binsack”

It is much easier to see life through rose colored glasses then it is to face the real truth of any bad situation. The list is endless of what we can see wearing rose colored glasses e.g. relationships, marriage, career, self image etc. I am going to focus on all of these areas but more particularly, on staying in a bad relationship or marriage. Something I know well first hand!!

Reality: The world or the state of things as they actually exist, as opposed to an idealistic or notional idea of them.

I think we would all agree that it is much easier to see life or ourselves as we “want to see” it then what it “actually is” at times. Seeing it as it “really is” can be be very painful to ones existence. Painful or not, it should be the only way we see things. For, to see things via rose colored glasses is simply lying to ones self about the truth of any situation and/or themselves. Thus, what really was our life? A big farce!! A lie to ourselves!!

By accepting and facing reality we are able to change and therefore grow!! No one likes change. Change is painful, especially when it involves our own issues that we must change!!

Excuse: A reason or explanation put forward to defend or justify a fault or offense.

Through our lifestyle and just human instinct, we’ve become a culture of excuses. Excuses make life easier, especially when we know we will feed into to them and thus, we decide we would rather make an excuse instead of make a change. When we do something wrong we usually know it’s wrong and are already making up an excuse in our mind. We want to believe that everything is perfect and just right in our situations. As long as we don’t look bad or feel bad all is seemingly good. When in fact it is not! The problem is, when we make excuses for our situations, we .. “give up control” of those same situations. It is easy to “blame everyone else” and have that piece of mind that we are doing everything right. ( When we are not!! ) We just have to keep telling ourselves that until we believe it.

Now comes into to play the bad relationship or marriage and the refusal of one partner or both to see this and thus, the false reality we create to stay. Henceforth, the excuses we use to tell ourselves and others for staying in a dysfunctional situation. Such as:

Excuse #1: I’d rather settle for him or her than be alone.

If you are settling for an unhealthy relationship just to have a warm body near, you are missing the amazing indescribable intimacy that you deserve.

Excuse #2: I’m comfortable.

Is change something that makes you cringe? Are you stringing a relationship along primarily because it has benefits: money, companionship, image, physical intimacy, fun, familiar routine? Let’s face it, we have all temporarily turned to everything from shopping to food for fulfillment. Things–even relationships with benefits–can never truly satisfy.

Excuse #3: I love him or her.

“But I looooove him / her!” If I had a nickel for every time I heard those words! Geez! I love my dog! I love my brother! I love my pet hamster! There is a difference in loving and being “in love” and fully committed to the person you KNOW you were meant to be with. Never settle for less!!

Excuse #4: We have a children together.

Admit it. As children, most of us aspired to have better lives than those who raised us. Here’s the kicker: our starting point regarding relationships was the exact representation of what ‘mom’ and ‘dad’ modeled for each of us. My point: it is better to be alone or with the person you truly love then living a lie each day in front of your children. According to statistics, your children will do the same. You think you protecting them when in fact your not, your simply protecting yourself!! The choices YOU make affect future generations. Ponder that!

Excuse #5: I don’t want to hurt his/ her feelings.

Has your heart left the picture, but your still hanging around because you’d like him/ her to stay happy? Maybe you feel bad leaving him / her because they have invested so as spent so much time and money on you. You’re not stock or a possession; this isn’t an investment game. Have you tried to walk away, but they persuaded you to stay? You’re not a puppet; pull your hearts strings from their grip. Your people-pleasing nature, coupled with his / her controlling tendencies, are brewing up your worst nightmare. It’s time to be concerned more with yourself then them!!

Excuse #6: He / she is “good” enough for me.

Maybe you’re thinking, “I don’t deserve any better,” or perhaps you assume you’d never land among the stars so you’ve resolved to never shoot for the moon, or your insecurities and fears are holding you back.

Excuse #7: He or she will change for the better!

Come on, who are you kidding!? You can’t change him / her , and they comfortable the way they are. Statistically and in my experiences people don’t change. Not unless they truly want to!! Which takes being awakened by a fall to the bottom or some shocking act in their lives. Even then most don’t change. We are the ones that must change and see our own issues for what they truly are.

These are just some of the main excuses we make to stay trapped in a relationship or marriage we refuse to see for what it truly is. The list of excuses is endless.

So putting on the rose colored glasses everyday is the easiest way to just not face the truth. The easy way out!! When in reality it is living a lie to ourselves and those involved daily. Then before you know it real life and love has passed you by. You grow old and wake up one day wondering what the hell have i done with my life!

Join me “Scott Binsack” as I share two serious relationships in my life where in one I wore the rose colored glasses. Both serious events that changed me forever!! A show not to be missed!!

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The Black Sheep ~~ “Growing Up Dysfunctional”

“Another persons dysfunction should never become your reality” – Scott Binsack

Dealing with a family of severe dysfunction is never an easy task, especially when they inflicted traumatizing and shocking emotional, physical and sexual abuse and still live in denial about it today!! I am a proud survivor of an extremely dysfunctional family, dysfunctional all the way around on my fathers side of the family. Despite the chaos that they inflicted upon me and my urgent removal from the same at the tender age of 15 they still attempt to haunt me today. I have learned to face these issues and deal with the chaos that they still at times try rain down on my life. Even to the point of trying desperately to destroy me through others. Despite my having nothing to do with them.

This dysfunction through my own issues started to show its ugly head early on in my life with relationships and then marriage. Thinking that running away at 15 and never looking back would solve the problem. When in fact it merely brought it to light in all that I did. I grew up pulling (emotional) knives out of my back, and being physically and sexually abused be several family members repeatedly, and in turn doing everything I could to be accepted and loved.

I was always shocked at how much other people loved and protected their kids. While my family was busy living in denial of each other and wreaking havoc to hurt one another. So extreme at times I wanted to simply die as a child. I was always trying to please them and get them to love me,. All to no avail!! I was always the black sheep as it has been said and even today told to me as .. your family hates you!! I’m glad they hate me. They don’t deserve to have me in their lives. Me, I have forgiven them and learned to turn that pain at a very young age into strength.

A dysfunctional family is defined as one in which there is either sexual and/or physical abuse, neglect or both going on. The adults may not get along and might expose their children to terrible arguments or even physical fights and/or allow other family members to abuse the child. Conversely, the parents might be allies who care for and protect each-other at the expense of their children. In a dysfunctional family, the parents are inadequate or abusive. As a result, there is not enough love available for the children. Sometimes there’s no love at all. This sets up an unconscious competition between the children for whatever love might be available. During childhood, one child might ingratiate themselves to one or both parents in an attempt to get some attention from them. They are simply doing their best to survive in an environment deficient of the emotional necessities of life. The legacy of the dysfunctional family is not just the emotional trauma caused by parental abuse or neglect but also and significantly, a toxic disruption of the normal loving bonds that siblings would otherwise share. For more on this see, http://marciasirotamd.com/trauma-reco…

Join me “Scott Binsack” as I share some very shocking and traumatic details of my childhood and how I learned to overcome the sever scars of this dysfunction. Giving you ways to cope with and overcome dealing with a dysfunctional family. A show not to be missed!!
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Sink or Swim ~~ “Rising Above The Rest.”

“One of the most common causes of failure is the habit of quitting when one is overtaken by temporary defeat.” – Napoleon Hill

In this week’s hard hitting series Sunday Night With “Scott Binsack” Scott shares his most intimate experiences on sinking or swimming in the rough seas of life.

Often times, people know exactly what they need to do in order to achieve the life that they want but still aren’t able to make it happen.

One tremendously important reason is that people tend to give up too early.

No one ever said reaching your dreams is going to be easy. In fact, it’s hard and that’s why most people fail to live the life that they want.

Join “Scott Binsack” as he shares his shocking moments, moments where he struggled and could easily have drowned. Yes he succeeded where others failed. He chose to swim and survive some of the toughest challenges. A show not to be missed.

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Loyalty ~~ “A Dying Breed”

“The greatest loyalty in life is, above all, to thine own Self be true.”
– Charlie Lutes

In “Scott Binsack’s” previous powerful and eye opening show “”Growing Up In the Mob” he touched base on Keeping Your Circles small and your enemies close while sharing with you his years growing up with a Bannano Crime family Capo. In this weeks riveting show, Scott reveals what loyalty really means and why people who truly possess loyalty have become a dying breed, not just among men but in relationships and life as a whole.

Loyalty, consciousness and discrimination go hand in hand. However, first we have to start with the real meaning of loyalty. It means faithful to a cause, faithful to someone to whom fidelity is held to be due; to be faithful to an idea. There are certain things that we tend to be naturally loyal to and there are certain loyalties that we acquire as we go along in life. However, care should be taken not to place our loyalties in the wrong thing or the wrong person as this can often culminate in disaster. There are many sailors who are loyal to their ship. But, if the ship is sinking it may be time to get off and place loyalties elsewhere. A stubborn loyalty to a lost cause can often cause one to pay a price for lack of reason and good judgment. On the other hand, where the loyalty is justified one should stand resolute in his loyalty. There are some people who find it impossible to remain loyal to anything for any length of time and they often become faithless to the very principles of life itself. Bottom line .. loyalty is something that cannot be bought. Loyalty … must be earned.

Join “Scott Binsack” as he shares his vast life experiences in different depths of loyalty. In his “no holds barred” real style, Scott shows us how to identify true loyalty, in ourselves and in those around us. An in-depth look into how loyalty & honesty is a goal we need to strive towards mastering, Not to be missed!

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Love Lies ~~ “How We look For Love In All The Wrong Places”

“Lovers don’t finally somewhere, they are in each other all along”
– Rumi

On this week’s intimate & provocative show, “Scott Binsack” explores with you how we look for love, and our challenges us to be honest with ourselves regarding our tendency to settle for less and lie to ourselves for fear of being alone.

Do you feel that you are the one who did not do the right thing to make it last? You find yourself doing things that are against your values, because if you do not, you are afraid that the person will each time your relationship breaks up?

These are all signs of the love lies we tell ourselves in order to not be alone. Looking to find the love of your life out of loneliness can lead you do things that you both feel that are compatible with each other but are not really truths. Inside one knows that it isn’t a perfect fit, and yet are surprised to realize after the courtship that lasted weeks or month, that the relationship is not going to last. Getting into a relationship hoping that the person will be the right one is settling for something because you are alone.

Join Scott as he shares his journey from his first true love, to his marriage for the wrong reasons and subsequent divorce, to coming to the realization that “finding” and “looking” for love is really not the true path, and when you stop “looking” outside of yourself, when you stop settling for “good enough”, love will find you. A powerful show not to be missed.

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The Power Of Purpose ~~ “Creating A Life Worth Living”


“Nothing, not all the armies of the world, can stop an idea whose time has come”- Victor Hugo

On this week’s powerful show, “Scott Binsack” shares with you how he has taken traumatic hardships head on, using intense focus & sheer determination to identify his purpose life and to overcome great adversity.

Do you have purpose in your life?

There has to be motivation and drive when we want to achieve anything in life. Without it, we get caught up in the lifeless, humdrum world that unfortunately too many people experience day after day, month after month and year after year.
We were never meant to live our lives like machines, but for the majority of people that is exactly how they choose to live. They don’t want to think for themselves and would rather have somebody else tell them what to do. We have a brain, but how many really use it?

The power of purpose is indeed a great power and each and every human being has the choice to use it. We should all have a purpose to aim for, it is what brings excitement into our lives, looking forward to a new day, sharing new experiences and helping us to become the best that we can possibly be. A mundane life is no life, hoping and dreaming that something good will happen. It ain’t gonna happen!

You have to make it happen through the resolve of your own desire and the natural power of purpose. Look at how the world has moved even in the last thirty years. An idea has been planted by people that typify their own natural power of purpose, they wanted to make a difference and didn’t stop until they did. Look at the mobile phone, the home computer and the technology that is moving faster each and every day. These are just a few examples of what the power of purpose can achieve.

Now we can’t expect everyone to be a Bill Gates, Michael Dell or a Charles Dunston, but surely it is better to live your life with the natural power of purpose and to achieve feats that are maybe a little less conspicuous or you may want to change the world. It is a waste of life not to be driven on a daily basis with the desire to become more and live your life with the natural power of purpose.

Join “Scott Binsack” as he challenges you to find purpose in your life. Using his hard hitting tell it like it is style, Scott shows you how to harness your energies into creating a purposeful, meaningful, & successful life.

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Divorce and Children ~~ “Scars Of A Child”

For children, divorce can be very painful, sad, and confusing. At any age, kids may feel uncertain and angry at the prospect of mom and dad splitting up. Thus, acting out in bad and rebellious behaviors or becoming depressed and introverted. As a parent, we can make the process and its effects less painful for our children. Helping them cope with divorce means providing stability in your home and attending to your children’s needs with a reassuring, positive attitude. It won’t be a seamless process, and thus without problems.

As parents, it’s normal to feel uncertain about how to give our children the right support through a divorce or separation. It may be uncharted territory, but we can successfully navigate this painful time and thus, help our children emerge from it feeling loved, confident, and strong. If not, they will go on to suffer the consequences of our mistakes.Suffering life long scars.

There are many ways we can help your children adjust to separation or divorce. Your patience, reassurance, and listening ear can minimize tension as children learn to cope with new circumstances. By providing routines kids can rely on, you remind children they can count on you for stability, structure, and care. And if you can maintain a working relationship with your ex, you can help kids avoid the stress that comes with watching parents in conflict. Such a transitional time can’t be without some measure of hardship, but you can powerfully reduce your children’s pain by making their well-being your top priority.

When it comes to telling your kids about your divorce, many parents freeze up. Make the conversation a little easier on both yourself and your children by preparing significantly before you sit down to talk. If you can anticipate tough questions, deal with your own anxieties ahead of time, and plan carefully what you’ll be telling them, you will be better equipped to help your children handle the news.

It’s vital to be honest with your kids, but without being critical of your spouse. This can be especially difficult when there have been hurtful events, such as infidelity, but with a little diplomacy, you can avoid playing the blame game or using your children as pawns against the other parent.

In this show Scott goes into great depth and detail explaining his parents divorce and the serious scarred childhood he suffered therefrom. As well as, discussing his own difficult marriage and divorce and the serious consequences of that on his children.

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“Scott Binsack”

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Some content of the written portion of this blog was obtained from http://www.helpguide.org/mental/children_divorce.htm

Being Held Accountable For Our Actions “Hiding In The Back Seat”

“Scott Binsack” discusses being held accountable for your own actions and living in denial. While sharing a very traumatic incident from his childhood.

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