Christmas

True Love ~~ “The Story Of The Man In The Moon”

If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. If they don’t, they never were.”

~Khalil Gibran

[But is that really true?]

It’s the first show of 2015 and we’re going to tackle a tough topic: true love and the story of The Man in the Moon.

Last February, right around Valentine’s Day, we explored a story involving my mother and the man who would ultimately come to be known as The Man in the Moon.

It’s a profoundly moving and emotional story; one that has impacted me since childhood.

I used to believe in the saying, “If you love someone, you should set them free and if they truly love you, they’ll return.”

I no longer believe this.

I believe that if someone truly loves you, there will be no reason to set them free; they shouldn’t come crawling back after their first choice didn’t work out.

People tend to toss around the term ‘love’ as though it’s a casual term. But it’s anything but. Love is truly transformative and it’s a force that can change your life in the most powerful ways.

I consider myself a hopeless romantic; I believe in true love. I’ve learned that many abuse victims like myself find themselves on a lifelong quest to find true love. They’re often amongst the individuals with the biggest hearts and the deepest desire to love and be loved — even if that desire isn’t outwardly apparent through the hard, protective shell that many abuse victims develop.

When I first shared this story of the Man in the Moon, I didn’t share all of the specifics.

I’ve since realized that it’s a story that must be told — in its entirety.

Over the past year, it’s a story that’s taken on new meaning as I myself became a Man in the Moon.

Recent events have transformed my view of life and love. I’ve come to realize that I was wrong; that love and intimacy aren’t the only part of the equation.

There’s more.

The Story of the Man in the Moon

My mother was a woman who suffered many traumas in her life. She was from a lower-middle class family that was plagued by dysfunction; a dysfunction that came to a head when she witnessed her father hang her mother from a 13th floor window amidst a drunken rage.
My father was from the other side of the tracks. He came from a prominent and wealthy family.
My parents met at a driver’s ed class. My mother said she loved my father, but she wasn’t madly in love with him. She got married because that’s what was expected; getting married young was the norm.
My mother’s true love was a man named Charlie — a man whom I’d come to know as The Man in the Moon. Charlie ultimately married another woman, just as my mother had married another man. But their respective marriages were no obstacle and they would meet in secret. Sometimes, I’d wait in the car, parked on the side of the road. I was just three or four years old when I first witnessed my mother in a rare state of pure happiness as she shared intimate moments with this man.
Charlie’s moniker — The Man in the Moon — was practical yet accurate. He was a man who was ever-present in her life and in her heart, yet in many ways, he was inaccessible. It was a practical term too, since my mother frequently brought me along when she met up with The Man in the Moon. So when my father asked, “What did you do today?”, my honest reply would be a seemingly fanciful: “We saw the Man in the Moon.”
After 14 years of marriage, my parents got divorced. But Charlie never left his wife — a woman who happened to be one of my mother’s best friends.
In time, Charlie and I became friends.
Years passed.
One day, my mother and I met Charlie for lunch. At one point in the meal, my mother left the table, heading for the restroom. I’ve always been very direct and I asked, “You love my mother. Why won’t you leave your wife?” Charlie replied, “I have children, obligations…..But someday, we’ll make it work. Someday.”
I knew that he truly loved my mother. And over the years, my mother continued to receive flowers, cards and other tokens of his affections.
They continued to see each other, but Charlie never did leave his wife. In this way, he truly lived up to his moniker, The Man in the Moon, remaining ever-present yet inaccessible.
So my mother set out on a mission to find another man. She sought to replicate the intense bond that she shared with Charlie.
But true love was elusive. She re-married and divorced twice.
In the end, my mother was miserable, forever haunted by the forbidden love she shared with The Man in the Moon.
Years later, my father said, “I love your mom, but your mom was always in love with Charlie — The Man in the Moon. He should have married her.”
The story of The Man in the Moon has led me to realize that love exists separately from intimacy. And if you don’t have intimacy — an incredible bond with another human being — then you don’t have anything.

These are just some of the topics we’ll be exploring on the latest episode of Sunday Night With “Scott Binsack”. It’s a must-see episode; one that will force you to confront and reconsider your views of love, intimacy and true love.

"Scott Binsack"

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Making Resolutions ~~ “Time for That ‘New Year, New Me’ Bull(~~~~)”

The lights are up, the decorations are on display and holiday consumerism is at its best. That’s right. It’s nearly that time again: time for more New Year’s resolutions, which — if you’re like 92% of folks — will be broken in fairly short order.

The statistics are bleak. A mere 8% of people actually stick to their New Year’s resolutions, with many abandoning those resolutions inside of a week!

We’re surrounded by “New Year, New You” rhetoric. Yet the fact remains: little, if anything, will change when the clock strikes midnight on December 31, 2014. It’s just plain unrealistic to believe that a well-established habit or tendency that you’ve spent all year engraining will be miraculously eliminated or overcome once the calendar reads “2015.”

In fact, many go into the new year with a resolution that lacks a definitive plan of attack, with measurable, “SMART” goals (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant and Time-bound.)

It’s a set up for failure and it’s the type of failure that can harm your self-esteem and self-worth, leaving you languish amidst that which you sought to stamp out. So instead of losing weight, you find yourself cuddled up on the couch, downing an entire pint of ice cream (the good stuff, not the crappy fat free variety), followed by a vodka chaser to drown your miseries.

Quite simply, New Year’s resolutions are a load of crap.

New Year’s resolutions are an archaic tradition, dating back to the time of ancient Babylon when the people would make promises to the gods for the upcoming year.

But these resolutions were very different in nature. They weren’t seeking to stamp out deeply engrained behaviors and bad habits overnight, nor were they striving to achieve a complete psychological overhaul. The Babylonians’ resolutions were much easier to achieve, perhaps vowing to return a loaf of bread to the neighbor to make up for the loaf that they had previously borrowed.

So with this in mind, perhaps it would be more appropriate to make a New Year’s resolution to return your neighbor’s weed whacker.

What’s more, the Babylonians believed that they would be struck down by their gods if they failed to follow through, making the consequences very compelling.

Without the threat of divine bombardment, many lack the motivation and incentive required to effect real, lasting change.

The bottom line is this: New Year’s resolutions are all about hype. If you really want to change or improve, don’t wait for the new year to arrive before taking action. Start your transformation today! And if you make a mistake, you’ll know you’re human. Get up off the ground, dust off those knees and keep going.

Procrastination and postponement could be construed as evidence that you’re not ready to change; perhaps you don’t really want it. Perhaps you’re meant to travel down a different path.

There’s no guarantee of a tomorrow, so live as though today was your last day. Become the person you want to be beginning this very moment. Start the transformation process now. Set yourself up to succeed with a goal that’s achievable, measurable and realistic.

Once you achieve that goal, establish a new objective and continue growing and improving. Life is a journey, not a destination. So hold on tight and enjoy the ride.

These are just some of the topics we’ll be exploring on the latest episode of Sunday Night With “Scott Binsack”. It’s a must-see episode; one that will set you up to succeed beginning right now.

"Scott Binsack"

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“Scott Binsack”

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