Month: January 2015

The Narcissist ~~ “In Love With The Enemy”

Narcissus was a figure in Greek mythology; a hunter who was renowned for his incredible beauty. A mountain nymph named Echo feel in love with Narcissus, but he was preoccupied with himself and his unmatched beauty.

Emotionally unavailable, Narcissus broke Echo’s heart and as often happens with juicy rumors, word of Echo’s heartbreak spread across the land. Ultimately, Nemesis — the god of revenge — heard of how Narcissus led Echo to heartbreak and she set out to punish him. She lured Narcissus to a pond, where he became engrossed with his own reflection. Narcissus fell deeply in love with the image and he was destroyed when he realized that it was merely a reflection. The story ultimately ends with Narcissus’ suicide.

It’s a rather dark tale, but it aptly illustrates many of the workings of the personality disorder known as narcissism.

Let’s be clear: it’s impossible to be in a healthy relationship with a narcissist. The self-centered nature of a narcissists precludes them from engaging in the give and take that’s required for a healthy, mutually-satisfying relationship. But this doesn’t stop others from falling in love with a narcissist. It’s a pit that I fell into myself.

What is a Narcissist?

To say that a narcissist holds a powerful self-love is put it quite mildly. A narcissist is the epitome of self-aggrandizing; this all-consuming superiority complex impacts every aspect of the narcissist’s life. In fact, narcissism is so consuming that it’s considered a personality disorder. While a majority of narcissists are men, it’s not a condition that’s exclusive to men. That’s because 25% of narcissists are women.

Narcissists may be cerebral and/or somatic. The cerebral narcissist believes that he or she has superior intellect, while the somatic narcissist is consumed by his or her physical beauty. A number of narcissists are taken with both their physical beauty and their superior intellect, making them a cerebral-somatic hybrid.

There are two sub-types of narcissist too: the vulnerable and the invulnerable narcissist.

A vulnerable narcissist is actually rather sensitive and they may experience depression or anxiety if others fail to treat them as superior beings. The vulnerable narcissist often appears as someone who’s vastly under-appreciated; their glory is simply unrecognized by the world at large. This narcissist is often a show-off in an attempt to display his or her superiority.

An invulnerable narcissist is essentially immune to any suggestion that he/she is anything less than superb and superior. This narcissist is unapologetic in her self-confidence and self-importance. If anyone dares to challenge the narcissist, they are met with vicious rage.

Some narcissists are overt, obvious narcissists who embody the most common narcissist stereotype. Others are inverted narcissists, who are parasitic in nature. They feed off another’s accomplishments and superiority and adopt this grandness for themselves. An example of this would be the stereotypical wife of a professional athlete or successful businessman. The wife exhibits all of the traits of narcissism, but she doesn’t want the control. She believes she’s entitled to enjoy all the fruits of her husband’s labor — the respect, the status, the money — despite the fact that she’s done absolutely nothing to earn or deserve these things.

The Narcissist in a Relationship

This is a bit of a misnomer, as a narcissist never really enters a true relationship. The term ‘relationship’ implies a give and take. There is no give and take with the narcissist. There’s that which the narcissist has; there’s that which he or she wants. The narcissist’s world revolves around fulfilling his desires — whatever they may be — because he deserves it. The narcissist adamantly believes he or she is worthy and deserving of all things wonderful and superior.

In a relationship, a narcissist cares about his or her own needs; there’s no consideration for the other person. Any facade of caring can usually be traced back to the narcissist’s self interests. For instance, a narcissist may do something kind for their partner, but that kindness isn’t rooted in love or a desire to please their partner; it’s rooted in a desire to manipulate the partner into doing something that benefits the narcissist. Manipulation is key for the narcissist, who puppets others in an attempt to fulfill his or her own interests.

If a narcissist doesn’t receive the love, adoration and respect that he or she feels is deserved, then they tend to get quite nasty. Increasing dominance is commonplace, as the narcissist over-compensates in an attempt to reinforce their importance and all-around fabulousness.

Does any of this sound familiar?

If so, then you probably know that attempting to maintain a relationship with a narcissist is a challenging task that often ends in heartbreak, just like the story of Narcissus and Echo. And some cases are equally deadly.

But if you survive your encounter with the narcissist, you’ll ultimately have a realization. You’ll realize that you were in love with a narcissist. And it’s a realization that can bring about a great deal of insight — insight that we’ll discuss in this week’s episode of Sunday Night With ” Scott Binsack”

So tune in with “Scott Binsack” as we explore narcissism, what it means to attempt a ‘relationship’ with a narcissist and how an encounter with this personality disorder can impact your life in a very profound manner. It’s an important show that simply cannot be missed!

"Scott Binsack"
Thank you for watching, liking and subscribing,
“Scott Binsack”

Check out Scott’s other sites:
Website: http://www.scottbinsack.com/
Blog: http://scottjbinsackthebuilderone.blogspot.com/
My Info: http://www.scottbinsack.info/
About Me: http://www.scottbinsack.me/
More Info: http://www.yatedo.com/scottbinsack
Corp: http://www.scottbinsackmansionsandestatesinc.com/
Paper: http://www.thescottbinsackdaily.com/
Audio: https://soundcloud.com/scott-binsack-sr

Follow “Scott Binsack” on:
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/pub/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/scottjbinsacksr
Vimeo: https://vimeo.com/scottbinsackuser25636003
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/realscottbinsack
Twitter: https://twitter.com/binsacksb
Instagram: http://instagram.com/scottjbinsack
Pinterest: http://www.pinterest.com/scottjbinsack/
Tumbler: http://scottbinsackthebuilderone.tumblr.com/

Saying I’m Sorry ~~ “Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word”

“Sorry seems to be the hardest word.” ~Elton John

When tempers flare or pain and hurts transform into anger, we have a tendency of saying hurtful things; things that we don’t really mean. This is especially true when you have two passionate individuals involved. And the closer your relationship, it seems the nastier and more cutting those words tend to be.

When those hurtful words come tumbling out, there’s no retraction. Just as a bell can’t be un-rung, words can’t be un-said and we’re left to deal with the damage and consequences of words spoken in the heat of the moment.

For those on the receiving end of your words, those emotions can remain raw until you say those two words: “I’m sorry.” But those words only have mending power if they’re backed with genuine emotion. A casual “I’m sorry” is meaningless.

In some cases, a full apology is warranted. So what makes a good apology? It should have three parts:

• I’m sorry;

• It’s my fault (or an acknowledgement of wrong-doing); and

• What can I do to make it right?

Those are the components of a good, effective apology. But again, those words must be backed by genuine emotion. And unfortunately, most people forget the third part — the part when you take action to remedy the situation and the hurts that you’ve caused.

An apology is so much more than just words! An apology says so much more than just “I’m sorry.” It’s an acknowledgement of the fact that you’re not always right. An apology also shows that you truly care about the other person’s welfare and emotional well-being — a point that is essential for any healthy relationship. Apologies also serve to diffuse the situation, while acknowledging and validating the other individual’s feelings and opinions, even if you don’t agree with their perspective.

Equally important is knowing when not to say “I’m sorry.” Not every conflict requires an apology and over-using apologies can diminish their impact. You shouldn’t apologize for having your own emotional needs, for instance. But if you’re aware that the other person is wounded, but aren’t sincerely sorry, then use the opportunity to start a dialogue so you can arrive at a better understanding of each other. This involves actually listening to the other person’s perspective — something we often forget to do in the heat of the moment.

There’s also the timeframe of the apology. Waiting days or weeks will diminish the power of your apology. Don’t allow hurts to linger. And make no mistake: without a good apology, those hurts can and will linger for weeks, months, years — even an entire lifetime. Those words that tumbled out as part of spite and malice-filled tangent can cut
through your defenses, becoming embedded deep within your very spirit. And there they will remain until a sincere, genuine apology is offered up and the individual takes action to right the wrongs that led to those hurts.

In today’s episode of Sunday Night With Scott Binsack, we’ll explore apologies and the impact of those two words: “I’m sorry.”

Join “Scott Binsack” as he goes in depth to explore the life experiences and actions that have led him to say “I’m sorry.” We’ll also discuss what we can do to control our anger, so as to avoid saying words that we’ll come to regret. It’s a humbling show and one that simply can’t be missed!

"Scott Binsack"

Thank you for watching, liking and subscribing,

“Scott Binsack”

Check out Scott’s other sites:
Website: http://www.scottbinsack.com/
Blog: http://scottjbinsackthebuilderone.blo…
My Info: http://www.scottbinsack.info/
About Me: http://www.scottbinsack.me/
More Info: http://www.yatedo.com/scottbinsack
Corp: http://www.scottbinsackmansionsandest…
Paper: http://www.thescottbinsackdaily.com/

Follow “Scott Binsack” on:
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/pub/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/scottjbi…
Vimeo: https://vimeo.com/scottbinsackuser256…
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/realscottbin…
Twitter: https://twitter.com/binsacksb
Instagram: http://instagram.com/scottjbinsack
Pinterest: http://www.pinterest.com/scottjbinsack/
Tumbler: http://scottbinsackthebuilderone.tumb…
Audio: https://soundcloud.com/scott-binsack-sr