Self Improvement

Making Resolutions ~~ “Time for That ‘New Year, New Me’ Bull(shit)”

The lights are up, the decorations are on display and holiday consumerism is at its best. That’s right. It’s nearly that time again: time for more New Year’s resolutions, which — if you’re like 92% of folks — will be broken in fairly short order.

The statistics are bleak. A mere 8% of people actually stick to their New Year’s resolutions, with many abandoning those resolutions inside of a week!

We’re surrounded by “New Year, New You” rhetoric. Yet the fact remains: little, if anything, will change when the clock strikes midnight on December 31, 2014. It’s just plain unrealistic to believe that a well-established habit or tendency that you’ve spent all year engraining will be miraculously eliminated or overcome once the calendar reads “2015.”

In fact, many go into the new year with a resolution that lacks a definitive plan of attack, with measurable, “SMART” goals (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant and Time-bound.)

It’s a set up for failure and it’s the type of failure that can harm your self-esteem and self-worth, leaving you languish amidst that which you sought to stamp out. So instead of losing weight, you find yourself cuddled up on the couch, downing an entire pint of ice cream (the good stuff, not the crappy fat free variety), followed by a vodka chaser to drown your miseries.

Quite simply, New Year’s resolutions are a load of crap.

New Year’s resolutions are an archaic tradition, dating back to the time of ancient Babylon when the people would make promises to the gods for the upcoming year.

But these resolutions were very different in nature. They weren’t seeking to stamp out deeply engrained behaviors and bad habits overnight, nor were they striving to achieve a complete psychological overhaul. The Babylonians’ resolutions were much easier to achieve, perhaps vowing to return a loaf of bread to the neighbor to make up for the loaf that they had previously borrowed.

So with this in mind, perhaps it would be more appropriate to make a New Year’s resolution to return your neighbor’s weed whacker.

What’s more, the Babylonians believed that they would be struck down by their gods if they failed to follow through, making the consequences very compelling.

Without the threat of divine bombardment, many lack the motivation and incentive required to effect real, lasting change.

The bottom line is this: New Year’s resolutions are all about hype. If you really want to change or improve, don’t wait for the new year to arrive before taking action. Start your transformation today! And if you make a mistake, you’ll know you’re human. Get up off the ground, dust off those knees and keep going.

Procrastination and postponement could be construed as evidence that you’re not ready to change; perhaps you don’t really want it. Perhaps you’re meant to travel down a different path.

There’s no guarantee of a tomorrow, so live as though today was your last day. Become the person you want to be beginning this very moment. Start the transformation process now. Set yourself up to succeed with a goal that’s achievable, measurable and realistic.

Once you achieve that goal, establish a new objective and continue growing and improving. Life is a journey, not a destination. So hold on tight and enjoy the ride.

These are just some of the topics we’ll be exploring on the latest episode of Sunday Night With “Scott Binsack”. It’s a must-see episode; one that will set you up to succeed beginning right now.

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Truth or Dare ~~ “Daring To Face The Truth Within”

“A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal.” – Oscar Wilde

In this week’s show, “Scott Binsack” takes a hard look at how we perceive honesty within ourselves, with our loves, and with our lives. Scott shares his soul in each of these areas in his own life and shows you how to decide if you are using dishonesty with yourself as a means to avoid or escape important issues in yourself or your life.

There are circumstances when we need to escape from our problems. A break from the pressures and troubles of our lives can refresh us and give us clarity. The problem arises when we do things to the point where we never face the truth about ourselves. To make things worse, we may select means of avoidance that are physically and/or psychologically damaging. In addition to activities being used to avoid facing the truth, they can also be extremely self-centered, self-gratifying, and spoiled child-like behavior. Maturity is the key here.

A child expects things to come easily. A mature person knows that to get what you want you must face the truth and then act in accordance with it. Until you face the issues you’re avoiding, your life will not get any better. And it will never become what you want it to be. Rather than acting passively through avoidance and escapism, take control of your destiny. This will require that you accept responsibility for everything that is in your life today, take an honest look at yourself, and then take the necessary actions to create the life you want.

Join “Scott Binsack” as he explores the ways we avoid facing the truth about ourselves. Facing the truth about yourself and your life is the first step in self improvement. Until you are able to take an honest look at yourself and your history, your self improvement efforts will miss the targets you need to hit to be truly successful.

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Think Before You Speak ~~ “Controlling Our Emotions”

Words are powerful weapons as well as attributes to success,. Use them wisely. For, once said they can never be taken back!! – “Scott Binsack”

The old saying .. “We take things out on the ones we love” does not make it right and causes a serious communication breakdown in any relationship or workplace!! Identifying this bad behavior and fixing it is the only way for us to have true communication and thus, solid relationships with others.

Join “Scott Binsack” in this life changing show.  As he discusses how his behavior at times in communicating with those he loved was his way of  lashing out to prior unsettled issues of past pain and anger. Hurting those involved with harsh and undeserved words and how now he has come to recognize this and how to change it!!

SPEAKING::

One of the most obvious and significant attributes of humans is the ability to communicate through speech. An interesting corollary is that we can also communicate our thoughts in real time; we do not need to plan what we’re going to say before we say it. This has both advantages and disadvantages. It would clearly be undesirable for us to have to formulate our thoughts before issuing an immediate warning “run!”. And communication would be dramatically slowed if we were unable to respond, fluidly, to people in normal conversation.

On the other hand, this innate ability is often the source of consternation when what we say on the spur of the moment is something we later wish we had either not said, or had said differently; it,sometimes, happens to each of us. The trick is to remember when. Typically, this happens when we are responding in stressful situations, or during confrontation, although it can happen at any time. Recognizing that we do not always say what we would like to communicate is an important realization. Mitigating this issue is not complex, but it does require some behavioral changes. The goal is to be aware of when to talk naturally and fluidly and when to think before we speak and when not to speak at all.

COMMUNICATION:

Finding a way to dial down your sensitivity chip while you are in a relationship is easier said than done. If you tend to be more of an emotional person, falling hard when in love, finding techniques or ways to erode sensitivity can be tough. However, if you have gotten hurt too many times in the past because you’ve jumped in with both feet, use your current relationship to help you pull back the emotion, while at the same time still having fun and engaging in a bonded situation.

Identify your emotional triggers:

Find your hot buttons and learn how to wrangle those under control. Not only will subduing emotion be good for your relationship, it will be better for your mental health in the long run.Identify your emotional triggers. Find your hot buttons and learn how to wrangle those under control. Not only will subduing emotion be good for your relationship, it will be better for your mental health in the long run.

Separation anxiety:

Do you get upset when he/she wants to be friends or has to do something at night that is work related? Even if you don’t say anything to him/her, do you get upset so that it is disruptive to your life?

Jealousy:

Do you have a hard time seeing him/her converse with people of the opposite sex? Or is your honey an eternal flirt? What happens when you see your mate flirting or in a situation where others are doing the flirting with him/her? If there is truly no reason to suspect your mate of cheating, consider how your overt jealousy affects the relationship. Does it bring you closer together or does it drive a wedge between you?

Clinginess:

Even though you love him/her so much, showing it by hanging all over him/her or demanding you two be tied at the hip may not be best for your relationship. Tap into your sense of independence and remember that you are two entities that came together for love.

External factors such as family or work:

Do you get emotional with your significant other in certain situations such as being around your family or at work functions? Your emotional side may be more tied to situations rather than how you feel in general.

Determine how your emotions impact your relationship.

Some people love having a very emotional mate, however consider how your overt emotion is affecting your self of being and sense of worth.

Can you separate from this person and function independently? Do emotions prevent you from being an independent person and can you approach life both as a couple and on your own? If your emotions have taken over and seem to be preventing you from approaching life on your own, you will need to determine why you need the other person to be happy or experience an encounter alone.

Does your mate seem to be pulling away from you? Historically have your emotions been a caveat to why you’ve broken up? Has your mate become withdrawn or unhappy because your emotions seem to overwhelm the relationship? If you want the relationship to work, consider how your emotional expressions could be sabotaging it and why.

Become more communicative instead of emotional. When a baby cries he/she could be experiencing a variety of emotions or physical feelings because infants have no other communication skills. Luckily, as an adult you don’t have to resort to childish outbursts and can use words instead. Instead of resorting to old behavioral or non verbal mannerisms or emotional outbursts, consider taking a more methodical, communicative approach to explaining how you feel. You can still let the other person know what you are feeling or experiencing, but use your intellect so you can truly convey your emotion.

Identify which emotion you are feeling and write down when and why you feel that way. For example, if you are overwhelmed with jealousy instead of lurking behind bushes or fake plants at the next cocktail party you both attend, write down that you are jealous and when you are jealous. Is it when you are in social situations and other people hit on your mate or when he/she flirts with others? Also, name specific encounters so you can articulate and refer to when and where you felt this emotion. Choose an opportune time after you are not so overwhelmed with emotion to discuss how you feel.

Avoid acting on your emotions as you are experiencing them. Even if you are overwhelmed with love, instead of bear hugging and/or jumping into your betrothed arms, wait for a moment when you can regain your composure and calmly communicate how you felt. Tell him/her why you have come to love him/her and when this feeling washed over you.

Take ownership of your emotions!!

Often people try to tell the other person that he/she “made” them feel a certain way. No one can manage your emotions but you. Own your feelings but say why. For example, if you are experiencing separation anxiety say, “I feel so alone when you are out of town every week. I enjoy being with you and feel sad and alone when you are away.” However, avoid getting angry at the other person or blaming him/her for how you feel. Own it and resign yourself to doing something about it.

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Information in this article was in part gained from: http://www.wikihow.com/Think-Before-Speaking

 

Rose Colored Glasses ~~ “Why We Refuse Reality & Make Excuses”

If someone thinks about or looks at something with rose-colored glasses, they think it is more pleasant than it really is – “Scott Binsack”

It is much easier to see life through rose colored glasses then it is to face the real truth of any bad situation. The list is endless of what we can see wearing rose colored glasses e.g. relationships, marriage, career, self image etc. I am going to focus on all of these areas but more particularly, on staying in a bad relationship or marriage. Something I know well first hand!!

Reality: The world or the state of things as they actually exist, as opposed to an idealistic or notional idea of them.

I think we would all agree that it is much easier to see life or ourselves as we “want to see” it then what it “actually is” at times. Seeing it as it “really is” can be be very painful to ones existence. Painful or not, it should be the only way we see things. For, to see things via rose colored glasses is simply lying to ones self about the truth of any situation and/or themselves. Thus, what really was our life? A big farce!! A lie to ourselves!!

By accepting and facing reality we are able to change and therefore grow!! No one likes change. Change is painful, especially when it involves our own issues that we must change!!

Excuse: A reason or explanation put forward to defend or justify a fault or offense.

Through our lifestyle and just human instinct, we’ve become a culture of excuses. Excuses make life easier, especially when we know we will feed into to them and thus, we decide we would rather make an excuse instead of make a change. When we do something wrong we usually know it’s wrong and are already making up an excuse in our mind. We want to believe that everything is perfect and just right in our situations. As long as we don’t look bad or feel bad all is seemingly good. When in fact it is not! The problem is, when we make excuses for our situations, we .. “give up control” of those same situations. It is easy to “blame everyone else” and have that piece of mind that we are doing everything right. ( When we are not!! ) We just have to keep telling ourselves that until we believe it.

Now comes into to play the bad relationship or marriage and the refusal of one partner or both to see this and thus, the false reality we create to stay. Henceforth, the excuses we use to tell ourselves and others for staying in a dysfunctional situation. Such as:

Excuse #1: I’d rather settle for him or her than be alone.

If you are settling for an unhealthy relationship just to have a warm body near, you are missing the amazing indescribable intimacy that you deserve.

Excuse #2: I’m comfortable.

Is change something that makes you cringe? Are you stringing a relationship along primarily because it has benefits: money, companionship, image, physical intimacy, fun, familiar routine? Let’s face it, we have all temporarily turned to everything from shopping to food for fulfillment. Things–even relationships with benefits–can never truly satisfy.

Excuse #3: I love him or her.

“But I looooove him / her!” If I had a nickel for every time I heard those words! Geez! I love my dog! I love my brother! I love my pet hamster! There is a difference in loving and being “in love” and fully committed to the person you KNOW you were meant to be with. Never settle for less!!

Excuse #4: We have a children together.

Admit it. As children, most of us aspired to have better lives than those who raised us. Here’s the kicker: our starting point regarding relationships was the exact representation of what ‘mom’ and ‘dad’ modeled for each of us. My point: it is better to be alone or with the person you truly love then living a lie each day in front of your children. According to statistics, your children will do the same. You think you protecting them when in fact your not, your simply protecting yourself!! The choices YOU make affect future generations. Ponder that!

Excuse #5: I don’t want to hurt his/ her feelings.

Has your heart left the picture, but your still hanging around because you’d like him/ her to stay happy? Maybe you feel bad leaving him / her because they have invested so as spent so much time and money on you. You’re not stock or a possession; this isn’t an investment game. Have you tried to walk away, but they persuaded you to stay? You’re not a puppet; pull your hearts strings from their grip. Your people-pleasing nature, coupled with his / her controlling tendencies, are brewing up your worst nightmare. It’s time to be concerned more with yourself then them!!

Excuse #6: He / she is “good” enough for me.

Maybe you’re thinking, “I don’t deserve any better,” or perhaps you assume you’d never land among the stars so you’ve resolved to never shoot for the moon, or your insecurities and fears are holding you back.

Excuse #7: He or she will change for the better!

Come on, who are you kidding!? You can’t change him / her , and they comfortable the way they are. Statistically and in my experiences people don’t change. Not unless they truly want to!! Which takes being awakened by a fall to the bottom or some shocking act in their lives. Even then most don’t change. We are the ones that must change and see our own issues for what they truly are.

These are just some of the main excuses we make to stay trapped in a relationship or marriage we refuse to see for what it truly is. The list of excuses is endless.

So putting on the rose colored glasses everyday is the easiest way to just not face the truth. The easy way out!! When in reality it is living a lie to ourselves and those involved daily. Then before you know it real life and love has passed you by. You grow old and wake up one day wondering what the hell have i done with my life!

Join me “Scott Binsack” as I share two serious relationships in my life where in one I wore the rose colored glasses. Both serious events that changed me forever!! A show not to be missed!!

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Identifying Your Passion ~~ “How Badly Do You Want It”

For living life without passion is simply not living. -“Scott Binsack”

Are you living your life doing what you are passionate about or are you simply existing? Passion can be anything powerful or compelling, a strong desire towards something or just overall enthusiasm in life. Having passion in your life helps give you personal power to live fully. When mind, body and spirit work together, it can help to manifest your potential and overcome obstacles. Many people shy away from seeking passion because of fear of failure and of taking the risks that will lead to an undefined future. Defining one’s passion in life is paramount in driving creativity and inspiration.

Join “Scott Binsack”as he shares his experience on  how to find & maintain the passion which resides within us all.

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Peace Within ~~ “Battling The Depths Of Depression”

“No one should have to live in hell with themselves.” – “Scott Binsack”

According to the National Institutes of Health, depression is the leading cause of disability in the United States in people aged 15 to 44 and affects 14.8 million American adults a year. It causes intense feelings of isolation and worthlessness and can lead to debilitating physical illness, even suicide. Loved ones and families of people suffering from depression are often caught in a similar downward spiral.

Depression drains your energy, hope, and drive, making it difficult to do what you need to feel better. But while overcoming depression isn’t quick or easy, it’s far from impossible. You can’t beat it through sheer willpower, but you do have some control—even if your depression is severe and stubbornly persistent. The key is to start small and build from there. Feeling better takes time, but you can get there if you make positive choices for yourself each day.

Scott Binsack shares some of his most personal and debilitating moments of his intimate battle with depression and how he beat the demon itself. Bringing him to the brink of death on several occasions, Scott fought daily for years with this illness. An illness caused in major part from the sever trauma of his childhood and later from a near fatal auto accident. An accident resulting in severe head trauma, during treatment for which he received dozens of prosthetic titanium plates in his skull and face. Scott shares how anti depression medications were not a major part of the ultimate answer in overcoming the depths of his depression, but that of changing his thought process, facing the ghosts of his past, along with physical activity which was key to literally making the difference between life and death within his battle.

Scott shares 10 key personal steps to fighting this battle. Steps you can take daily to enrich your life and obtain peace within. As well as how to overcome negative thinking. Negative thoughts are a key factor to feeding the demon. Once you learn how to change your thoughts you can begin down the road to peace

Join “Scott Binsack” as he takes you in-depth into how you can harness these demons and help you to achieve your peace within. A profound and intimate show not to be missed.

PLEASE NOTE: If you or a loved one are having thoughts of harming yourself or others
DO NOT WAIT CONTACT THE NATIONAL SUICIDE HOTLINE 1-800-273-8255 or ONLINE http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org

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24 Hours To Live ~~ ” When Reality Strikes”

This is your life and its ending one moment at a time. ― Chuck Palahniuk

If you had 24 hrs to live what would you do?

It is a question that deals with the happy notion of unlimited possibilities and yet the negative reality of death. In the face of death, things immediately change. There can be anger, forgiveness, regret, and a lot more emotions that make us human. Now the clock is ticking. Your mind begins to scramble. Would have, could have … should have.

Seriously think about this for a moment. Would you be happy with the life you have led?

Would you be able to say that you made the most out of the life you were given?

Would you look back on your life and say, “I’ve lived the best life I possibly could live”?

Or would you think, “I have 24 hours to live and I have yet to begin living”?

Or would you think, “I haven’t done nearly the things that I am capable of doing. I haven’ t accomplished the things I wished to accomplish”?

My question to you is ” why haven’t you? Whats stopping you?

We always have excuses as to why we haven’t accomplished the things we have dreamed of accomplishing, or doing the things we have hoped to do.

You have heard the stories of people on their death beds… I should have spent more time with my family, or apologized for this thing or that thing, wishing they had spent more time living instead of complaining or not taking real action to achieve there dreams and goals.

Life is truly a gift. Yet, most of us treat it as if it is never ending and thus nothing until we are face with the reality of death.

I don’t know about you but I don’t want to be one of those people, and I am not. It’s time to start living If you start to truly live each day as it is your last you will see the greatness and urgency that comes with it.

Join “Scott Binsack” as he delivers a heart felt and powerful message about not just existing but living at all costs” Drawing from his serious life experiences including that of death via a near fatal auto accident. A brilliant show not to be missed!!

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Sink or Swim ~~ “Rising Above The Rest.”

“One of the most common causes of failure is the habit of quitting when one is overtaken by temporary defeat.” – Napoleon Hill

In this week’s hard hitting series Sunday Night With “Scott Binsack” Scott shares his most intimate experiences on sinking or swimming in the rough seas of life.

Often times, people know exactly what they need to do in order to achieve the life that they want but still aren’t able to make it happen.

One tremendously important reason is that people tend to give up too early.

No one ever said reaching your dreams is going to be easy. In fact, it’s hard and that’s why most people fail to live the life that they want.

Join “Scott Binsack” as he shares his shocking moments, moments where he struggled and could easily have drowned. Yes he succeeded where others failed. He chose to swim and survive some of the toughest challenges. A show not to be missed.

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Loyalty ~~ “A Dying Breed”

“The greatest loyalty in life is, above all, to thine own Self be true.”
– Charlie Lutes

In “Scott Binsack’s” previous powerful and eye opening show “”Growing Up In the Mob” he touched base on Keeping Your Circles small and your enemies close while sharing with you his years growing up with a Bannano Crime family Capo. In this weeks riveting show, Scott reveals what loyalty really means and why people who truly possess loyalty have become a dying breed, not just among men but in relationships and life as a whole.

Loyalty, consciousness and discrimination go hand in hand. However, first we have to start with the real meaning of loyalty. It means faithful to a cause, faithful to someone to whom fidelity is held to be due; to be faithful to an idea. There are certain things that we tend to be naturally loyal to and there are certain loyalties that we acquire as we go along in life. However, care should be taken not to place our loyalties in the wrong thing or the wrong person as this can often culminate in disaster. There are many sailors who are loyal to their ship. But, if the ship is sinking it may be time to get off and place loyalties elsewhere. A stubborn loyalty to a lost cause can often cause one to pay a price for lack of reason and good judgment. On the other hand, where the loyalty is justified one should stand resolute in his loyalty. There are some people who find it impossible to remain loyal to anything for any length of time and they often become faithless to the very principles of life itself. Bottom line .. loyalty is something that cannot be bought. Loyalty … must be earned.

Join “Scott Binsack” as he shares his vast life experiences in different depths of loyalty. In his “no holds barred” real style, Scott shows us how to identify true loyalty, in ourselves and in those around us. An in-depth look into how loyalty & honesty is a goal we need to strive towards mastering, Not to be missed!

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Love Lies ~~ “How We look For Love In All The Wrong Places”

“Lovers don’t finally somewhere, they are in each other all along”
– Rumi

On this week’s intimate & provocative show, “Scott Binsack” explores with you how we look for love, and our challenges us to be honest with ourselves regarding our tendency to settle for less and lie to ourselves for fear of being alone.

Do you feel that you are the one who did not do the right thing to make it last? You find yourself doing things that are against your values, because if you do not, you are afraid that the person will each time your relationship breaks up?

These are all signs of the love lies we tell ourselves in order to not be alone. Looking to find the love of your life out of loneliness can lead you do things that you both feel that are compatible with each other but are not really truths. Inside one knows that it isn’t a perfect fit, and yet are surprised to realize after the courtship that lasted weeks or month, that the relationship is not going to last. Getting into a relationship hoping that the person will be the right one is settling for something because you are alone.

Join Scott as he shares his journey from his first true love, to his marriage for the wrong reasons and subsequent divorce, to coming to the realization that “finding” and “looking” for love is really not the true path, and when you stop “looking” outside of yourself, when you stop settling for “good enough”, love will find you. A powerful show not to be missed.

Thank you for watching,
“Scott Binsack”

My Website: http://www.scottbinsack.com
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