People

Think Before You Speak ~~ “Controlling Our Emotions”

Words are powerful weapons as well as attributes to success,. Use them wisely. For, once said they can never be taken back!! – “Scott Binsack”

The old saying .. “We take things out on the ones we love” does not make it right and causes a serious communication breakdown in any relationship or workplace!! Identifying this bad behavior and fixing it is the only way for us to have true communication and thus, solid relationships with others.

Join “Scott Binsack” in this life changing show.  As he discusses how his behavior at times in communicating with those he loved was his way of  lashing out to prior unsettled issues of past pain and anger. Hurting those involved with harsh and undeserved words and how now he has come to recognize this and how to change it!!

SPEAKING::

One of the most obvious and significant attributes of humans is the ability to communicate through speech. An interesting corollary is that we can also communicate our thoughts in real time; we do not need to plan what we’re going to say before we say it. This has both advantages and disadvantages. It would clearly be undesirable for us to have to formulate our thoughts before issuing an immediate warning “run!”. And communication would be dramatically slowed if we were unable to respond, fluidly, to people in normal conversation.

On the other hand, this innate ability is often the source of consternation when what we say on the spur of the moment is something we later wish we had either not said, or had said differently; it,sometimes, happens to each of us. The trick is to remember when. Typically, this happens when we are responding in stressful situations, or during confrontation, although it can happen at any time. Recognizing that we do not always say what we would like to communicate is an important realization. Mitigating this issue is not complex, but it does require some behavioral changes. The goal is to be aware of when to talk naturally and fluidly and when to think before we speak and when not to speak at all.

COMMUNICATION:

Finding a way to dial down your sensitivity chip while you are in a relationship is easier said than done. If you tend to be more of an emotional person, falling hard when in love, finding techniques or ways to erode sensitivity can be tough. However, if you have gotten hurt too many times in the past because you’ve jumped in with both feet, use your current relationship to help you pull back the emotion, while at the same time still having fun and engaging in a bonded situation.

Identify your emotional triggers:

Find your hot buttons and learn how to wrangle those under control. Not only will subduing emotion be good for your relationship, it will be better for your mental health in the long run.Identify your emotional triggers. Find your hot buttons and learn how to wrangle those under control. Not only will subduing emotion be good for your relationship, it will be better for your mental health in the long run.

Separation anxiety:

Do you get upset when he/she wants to be friends or has to do something at night that is work related? Even if you don’t say anything to him/her, do you get upset so that it is disruptive to your life?

Jealousy:

Do you have a hard time seeing him/her converse with people of the opposite sex? Or is your honey an eternal flirt? What happens when you see your mate flirting or in a situation where others are doing the flirting with him/her? If there is truly no reason to suspect your mate of cheating, consider how your overt jealousy affects the relationship. Does it bring you closer together or does it drive a wedge between you?

Clinginess:

Even though you love him/her so much, showing it by hanging all over him/her or demanding you two be tied at the hip may not be best for your relationship. Tap into your sense of independence and remember that you are two entities that came together for love.

External factors such as family or work:

Do you get emotional with your significant other in certain situations such as being around your family or at work functions? Your emotional side may be more tied to situations rather than how you feel in general.

Determine how your emotions impact your relationship.

Some people love having a very emotional mate, however consider how your overt emotion is affecting your self of being and sense of worth.

Can you separate from this person and function independently? Do emotions prevent you from being an independent person and can you approach life both as a couple and on your own? If your emotions have taken over and seem to be preventing you from approaching life on your own, you will need to determine why you need the other person to be happy or experience an encounter alone.

Does your mate seem to be pulling away from you? Historically have your emotions been a caveat to why you’ve broken up? Has your mate become withdrawn or unhappy because your emotions seem to overwhelm the relationship? If you want the relationship to work, consider how your emotional expressions could be sabotaging it and why.

Become more communicative instead of emotional. When a baby cries he/she could be experiencing a variety of emotions or physical feelings because infants have no other communication skills. Luckily, as an adult you don’t have to resort to childish outbursts and can use words instead. Instead of resorting to old behavioral or non verbal mannerisms or emotional outbursts, consider taking a more methodical, communicative approach to explaining how you feel. You can still let the other person know what you are feeling or experiencing, but use your intellect so you can truly convey your emotion.

Identify which emotion you are feeling and write down when and why you feel that way. For example, if you are overwhelmed with jealousy instead of lurking behind bushes or fake plants at the next cocktail party you both attend, write down that you are jealous and when you are jealous. Is it when you are in social situations and other people hit on your mate or when he/she flirts with others? Also, name specific encounters so you can articulate and refer to when and where you felt this emotion. Choose an opportune time after you are not so overwhelmed with emotion to discuss how you feel.

Avoid acting on your emotions as you are experiencing them. Even if you are overwhelmed with love, instead of bear hugging and/or jumping into your betrothed arms, wait for a moment when you can regain your composure and calmly communicate how you felt. Tell him/her why you have come to love him/her and when this feeling washed over you.

Take ownership of your emotions!!

Often people try to tell the other person that he/she “made” them feel a certain way. No one can manage your emotions but you. Own your feelings but say why. For example, if you are experiencing separation anxiety say, “I feel so alone when you are out of town every week. I enjoy being with you and feel sad and alone when you are away.” However, avoid getting angry at the other person or blaming him/her for how you feel. Own it and resign yourself to doing something about it.

"Scott Binsack"

Thank you for watching, liking and subscibing,
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Check out “Scott Binsack’s” other sites:
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Information in this article was in part gained from: http://www.wikihow.com/Think-Before-Speaking

 

Rose Colored Glasses ~~ “Why We Refuse Reality & Make Excuses”

If someone thinks about or looks at something with rose-colored glasses, they think it is more pleasant than it really is – “Scott Binsack”

It is much easier to see life through rose colored glasses then it is to face the real truth of any bad situation. The list is endless of what we can see wearing rose colored glasses e.g. relationships, marriage, career, self image etc. I am going to focus on all of these areas but more particularly, on staying in a bad relationship or marriage. Something I know well first hand!!

Reality: The world or the state of things as they actually exist, as opposed to an idealistic or notional idea of them.

I think we would all agree that it is much easier to see life or ourselves as we “want to see” it then what it “actually is” at times. Seeing it as it “really is” can be be very painful to ones existence. Painful or not, it should be the only way we see things. For, to see things via rose colored glasses is simply lying to ones self about the truth of any situation and/or themselves. Thus, what really was our life? A big farce!! A lie to ourselves!!

By accepting and facing reality we are able to change and therefore grow!! No one likes change. Change is painful, especially when it involves our own issues that we must change!!

Excuse: A reason or explanation put forward to defend or justify a fault or offense.

Through our lifestyle and just human instinct, we’ve become a culture of excuses. Excuses make life easier, especially when we know we will feed into to them and thus, we decide we would rather make an excuse instead of make a change. When we do something wrong we usually know it’s wrong and are already making up an excuse in our mind. We want to believe that everything is perfect and just right in our situations. As long as we don’t look bad or feel bad all is seemingly good. When in fact it is not! The problem is, when we make excuses for our situations, we .. “give up control” of those same situations. It is easy to “blame everyone else” and have that piece of mind that we are doing everything right. ( When we are not!! ) We just have to keep telling ourselves that until we believe it.

Now comes into to play the bad relationship or marriage and the refusal of one partner or both to see this and thus, the false reality we create to stay. Henceforth, the excuses we use to tell ourselves and others for staying in a dysfunctional situation. Such as:

Excuse #1: I’d rather settle for him or her than be alone.

If you are settling for an unhealthy relationship just to have a warm body near, you are missing the amazing indescribable intimacy that you deserve.

Excuse #2: I’m comfortable.

Is change something that makes you cringe? Are you stringing a relationship along primarily because it has benefits: money, companionship, image, physical intimacy, fun, familiar routine? Let’s face it, we have all temporarily turned to everything from shopping to food for fulfillment. Things–even relationships with benefits–can never truly satisfy.

Excuse #3: I love him or her.

“But I looooove him / her!” If I had a nickel for every time I heard those words! Geez! I love my dog! I love my brother! I love my pet hamster! There is a difference in loving and being “in love” and fully committed to the person you KNOW you were meant to be with. Never settle for less!!

Excuse #4: We have a children together.

Admit it. As children, most of us aspired to have better lives than those who raised us. Here’s the kicker: our starting point regarding relationships was the exact representation of what ‘mom’ and ‘dad’ modeled for each of us. My point: it is better to be alone or with the person you truly love then living a lie each day in front of your children. According to statistics, your children will do the same. You think you protecting them when in fact your not, your simply protecting yourself!! The choices YOU make affect future generations. Ponder that!

Excuse #5: I don’t want to hurt his/ her feelings.

Has your heart left the picture, but your still hanging around because you’d like him/ her to stay happy? Maybe you feel bad leaving him / her because they have invested so as spent so much time and money on you. You’re not stock or a possession; this isn’t an investment game. Have you tried to walk away, but they persuaded you to stay? You’re not a puppet; pull your hearts strings from their grip. Your people-pleasing nature, coupled with his / her controlling tendencies, are brewing up your worst nightmare. It’s time to be concerned more with yourself then them!!

Excuse #6: He / she is “good” enough for me.

Maybe you’re thinking, “I don’t deserve any better,” or perhaps you assume you’d never land among the stars so you’ve resolved to never shoot for the moon, or your insecurities and fears are holding you back.

Excuse #7: He or she will change for the better!

Come on, who are you kidding!? You can’t change him / her , and they comfortable the way they are. Statistically and in my experiences people don’t change. Not unless they truly want to!! Which takes being awakened by a fall to the bottom or some shocking act in their lives. Even then most don’t change. We are the ones that must change and see our own issues for what they truly are.

These are just some of the main excuses we make to stay trapped in a relationship or marriage we refuse to see for what it truly is. The list of excuses is endless.

So putting on the rose colored glasses everyday is the easiest way to just not face the truth. The easy way out!! When in reality it is living a lie to ourselves and those involved daily. Then before you know it real life and love has passed you by. You grow old and wake up one day wondering what the hell have i done with my life!

Join me “Scott Binsack” as I share two serious relationships in my life where in one I wore the rose colored glasses. Both serious events that changed me forever!! A show not to be missed!!

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“Scott Binsack”

Check out “Scott Binsack’s” other sites:
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My Info: http://www.scottbinsack.info/
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The Black Sheep ~~ “Growing Up Dysfunctional”

“Another persons dysfunction should never become your reality” – Scott Binsack

Dealing with a family of severe dysfunction is never an easy task, especially when they inflicted traumatizing and shocking emotional, physical and sexual abuse and still live in denial about it today!! I am a proud survivor of an extremely dysfunctional family, dysfunctional all the way around on my fathers side of the family. Despite the chaos that they inflicted upon me and my urgent removal from the same at the tender age of 15 they still attempt to haunt me today. I have learned to face these issues and deal with the chaos that they still at times try rain down on my life. Even to the point of trying desperately to destroy me through others. Despite my having nothing to do with them.

This dysfunction through my own issues started to show its ugly head early on in my life with relationships and then marriage. Thinking that running away at 15 and never looking back would solve the problem. When in fact it merely brought it to light in all that I did. I grew up pulling (emotional) knives out of my back, and being physically and sexually abused be several family members repeatedly, and in turn doing everything I could to be accepted and loved.

I was always shocked at how much other people loved and protected their kids. While my family was busy living in denial of each other and wreaking havoc to hurt one another. So extreme at times I wanted to simply die as a child. I was always trying to please them and get them to love me,. All to no avail!! I was always the black sheep as it has been said and even today told to me as .. your family hates you!! I’m glad they hate me. They don’t deserve to have me in their lives. Me, I have forgiven them and learned to turn that pain at a very young age into strength.

A dysfunctional family is defined as one in which there is either sexual and/or physical abuse, neglect or both going on. The adults may not get along and might expose their children to terrible arguments or even physical fights and/or allow other family members to abuse the child. Conversely, the parents might be allies who care for and protect each-other at the expense of their children. In a dysfunctional family, the parents are inadequate or abusive. As a result, there is not enough love available for the children. Sometimes there’s no love at all. This sets up an unconscious competition between the children for whatever love might be available. During childhood, one child might ingratiate themselves to one or both parents in an attempt to get some attention from them. They are simply doing their best to survive in an environment deficient of the emotional necessities of life. The legacy of the dysfunctional family is not just the emotional trauma caused by parental abuse or neglect but also and significantly, a toxic disruption of the normal loving bonds that siblings would otherwise share. For more on this see, http://marciasirotamd.com/trauma-reco…

Join me “Scott Binsack” as I share some very shocking and traumatic details of my childhood and how I learned to overcome the sever scars of this dysfunction. Giving you ways to cope with and overcome dealing with a dysfunctional family. A show not to be missed!!
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Thank you for watching, liking and subscribing,
“Scott Binsack”

Check out Scott’s other sites:
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24 Hours To Live ~~ ” When Reality Strikes”

This is your life and its ending one moment at a time. ― Chuck Palahniuk

If you had 24 hrs to live what would you do?

It is a question that deals with the happy notion of unlimited possibilities and yet the negative reality of death. In the face of death, things immediately change. There can be anger, forgiveness, regret, and a lot more emotions that make us human. Now the clock is ticking. Your mind begins to scramble. Would have, could have … should have.

Seriously think about this for a moment. Would you be happy with the life you have led?

Would you be able to say that you made the most out of the life you were given?

Would you look back on your life and say, “I’ve lived the best life I possibly could live”?

Or would you think, “I have 24 hours to live and I have yet to begin living”?

Or would you think, “I haven’t done nearly the things that I am capable of doing. I haven’ t accomplished the things I wished to accomplish”?

My question to you is ” why haven’t you? Whats stopping you?

We always have excuses as to why we haven’t accomplished the things we have dreamed of accomplishing, or doing the things we have hoped to do.

You have heard the stories of people on their death beds… I should have spent more time with my family, or apologized for this thing or that thing, wishing they had spent more time living instead of complaining or not taking real action to achieve there dreams and goals.

Life is truly a gift. Yet, most of us treat it as if it is never ending and thus nothing until we are face with the reality of death.

I don’t know about you but I don’t want to be one of those people, and I am not. It’s time to start living If you start to truly live each day as it is your last you will see the greatness and urgency that comes with it.

Join “Scott Binsack” as he delivers a heart felt and powerful message about not just existing but living at all costs” Drawing from his serious life experiences including that of death via a near fatal auto accident. A brilliant show not to be missed!!

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Thank you for watching and liking me on Facebook,
“Scott Binsack”

My Website: http://www.scottbinsack.com
My Info: http://www.scottbinsack.info
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Loyalty ~~ “A Dying Breed”

“The greatest loyalty in life is, above all, to thine own Self be true.”
– Charlie Lutes

In “Scott Binsack’s” previous powerful and eye opening show “”Growing Up In the Mob” he touched base on Keeping Your Circles small and your enemies close while sharing with you his years growing up with a Bannano Crime family Capo. In this weeks riveting show, Scott reveals what loyalty really means and why people who truly possess loyalty have become a dying breed, not just among men but in relationships and life as a whole.

Loyalty, consciousness and discrimination go hand in hand. However, first we have to start with the real meaning of loyalty. It means faithful to a cause, faithful to someone to whom fidelity is held to be due; to be faithful to an idea. There are certain things that we tend to be naturally loyal to and there are certain loyalties that we acquire as we go along in life. However, care should be taken not to place our loyalties in the wrong thing or the wrong person as this can often culminate in disaster. There are many sailors who are loyal to their ship. But, if the ship is sinking it may be time to get off and place loyalties elsewhere. A stubborn loyalty to a lost cause can often cause one to pay a price for lack of reason and good judgment. On the other hand, where the loyalty is justified one should stand resolute in his loyalty. There are some people who find it impossible to remain loyal to anything for any length of time and they often become faithless to the very principles of life itself. Bottom line .. loyalty is something that cannot be bought. Loyalty … must be earned.

Join “Scott Binsack” as he shares his vast life experiences in different depths of loyalty. In his “no holds barred” real style, Scott shows us how to identify true loyalty, in ourselves and in those around us. An in-depth look into how loyalty & honesty is a goal we need to strive towards mastering, Not to be missed!

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“Scott Binsack”

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Love Lies ~~ “How We look For Love In All The Wrong Places”

“Lovers don’t finally somewhere, they are in each other all along”
– Rumi

On this week’s intimate & provocative show, “Scott Binsack” explores with you how we look for love, and our challenges us to be honest with ourselves regarding our tendency to settle for less and lie to ourselves for fear of being alone.

Do you feel that you are the one who did not do the right thing to make it last? You find yourself doing things that are against your values, because if you do not, you are afraid that the person will each time your relationship breaks up?

These are all signs of the love lies we tell ourselves in order to not be alone. Looking to find the love of your life out of loneliness can lead you do things that you both feel that are compatible with each other but are not really truths. Inside one knows that it isn’t a perfect fit, and yet are surprised to realize after the courtship that lasted weeks or month, that the relationship is not going to last. Getting into a relationship hoping that the person will be the right one is settling for something because you are alone.

Join Scott as he shares his journey from his first true love, to his marriage for the wrong reasons and subsequent divorce, to coming to the realization that “finding” and “looking” for love is really not the true path, and when you stop “looking” outside of yourself, when you stop settling for “good enough”, love will find you. A powerful show not to be missed.

Thank you for watching,
“Scott Binsack”

My Website: http://www.scottbinsack.com
My Info: http://www.scottbinsack.info
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The Power Of Purpose ~~ “Creating A Life Worth Living”


“Nothing, not all the armies of the world, can stop an idea whose time has come”- Victor Hugo

On this week’s powerful show, “Scott Binsack” shares with you how he has taken traumatic hardships head on, using intense focus & sheer determination to identify his purpose life and to overcome great adversity.

Do you have purpose in your life?

There has to be motivation and drive when we want to achieve anything in life. Without it, we get caught up in the lifeless, humdrum world that unfortunately too many people experience day after day, month after month and year after year.
We were never meant to live our lives like machines, but for the majority of people that is exactly how they choose to live. They don’t want to think for themselves and would rather have somebody else tell them what to do. We have a brain, but how many really use it?

The power of purpose is indeed a great power and each and every human being has the choice to use it. We should all have a purpose to aim for, it is what brings excitement into our lives, looking forward to a new day, sharing new experiences and helping us to become the best that we can possibly be. A mundane life is no life, hoping and dreaming that something good will happen. It ain’t gonna happen!

You have to make it happen through the resolve of your own desire and the natural power of purpose. Look at how the world has moved even in the last thirty years. An idea has been planted by people that typify their own natural power of purpose, they wanted to make a difference and didn’t stop until they did. Look at the mobile phone, the home computer and the technology that is moving faster each and every day. These are just a few examples of what the power of purpose can achieve.

Now we can’t expect everyone to be a Bill Gates, Michael Dell or a Charles Dunston, but surely it is better to live your life with the natural power of purpose and to achieve feats that are maybe a little less conspicuous or you may want to change the world. It is a waste of life not to be driven on a daily basis with the desire to become more and live your life with the natural power of purpose.

Join “Scott Binsack” as he challenges you to find purpose in your life. Using his hard hitting tell it like it is style, Scott shows you how to harness your energies into creating a purposeful, meaningful, & successful life.

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Thank you for watching and liking me on Facebook,
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Against The Odds ~~ “Risking More Than The Rest For Ultimate Success”

“There is no such thing as safe. What is safe in a volatile world and society? Risk!”
– “Scott Binsack”

In “Scott Binsack’s” hard hitting STAYING REAL style, Scott shares the most important key to success “Risking More Then Others Think Is Possible” The world needs new companies, leaders, and entrepreneurs if it’s going to survive this economic collapse. It needs leaders that hire, not sheep that follow! Join Scott as he divulges his secrets to creating not one multimillion dollar company, but THREE, all starting from nothing; his first by the tender age of 23.

Risk offers a purpose. In business, as well as in life, the greater the risk, the greater the glory. Scott shares with you how to identify “good” risk from bad”, as risk isn’t always founded on sound principles, but a lot of time when you’re talking about growing a company, or even finding success in life, great risk leads to soaring growth.

To risk nothing is to gain nothing. Scott’s harrowing near death experience enlightened him to this simple fact: Death is a magnificent thing. It gives your life purpose, and this very moment, a very special and unique meaning. With each day you’re closer to the end. Each moment is one that will never be had again. Death should give you reason to risk, to try, to persist.

“To live a life spent doing what you hate doing, is a life lived in hell.” – “Scott Binsack”

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“Scott Binsack”

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A Mothers Love ~~ “Crossing Boundaries”

Mothers are often perceived to be wise and always right, however mothers are also very human and their lives serve as examples of strength & endurance as well as lessons of trial and error. We have all grown up on the lessons & advice of our moms. Some of these lessons are amazing examples of courage and sacrifice and they remain with us forever and keep guiding us. Others learn from living through the choices our mothers made along the way. Join Scott as he takes you on a journey of his unconditional love for his mother and the struggles he endured at times to maintain that love. Revealing for the first time a shocking family secret and how he handled this painful truth. Crossing the boundaries of pain to accept the truth, and to ultimately find his peace within.

“God Helps Those Who Help Themselves” – Carole Schmidt Binsack
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“Scott Binsack”

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Is The Grass Really Greener On The Other Side? ~~ “Playing Both Sides”

The old saying is that “The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.” So how do we feel about love and life on the other side of the fence? In someone else’s yard so to speak! Is it better? Or is it really an illusion we create in our own minds to get us through the day or even in some cases our entire life? Wishing for something or someone better. In some cases, it is, but in many cases, it is not. Join Scott as he takes you through his powerful take on this subject.

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Thank you for watching,
“Scott Binsack”

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